


a confession in subtle gestures and faint utterances

by wartransmission



Category: Free!
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Makoto POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 16:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3297329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Idiot,” Haru grumbles, dropping the annoyed glare to stare wearily at Makoto’s confused expression. “This isn’t the first time, is it?”</p><p>“Eh?”</p><p>“That someone’s confessed to you,” Haru says, eyeing him with a raised brow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a confession in subtle gestures and faint utterances

“Haru,” Makoto calls out. The name feels heavy in his dry mouth, like cotton blocking his throat and airway, and he feels dizzy with nervousness. All this, along with the tight stinging feeling inside his chest, caused by the mere thought of  _confessing._

 _Man up, Makoto_ , Rin had said to him with a toothy grin when he asked him about it, accompanied by a hearty slap on the back.

 _But it’s so much more difficult than that,_  Makoto thinks helplessly, trying not to cry as he looks up at Haru. Haru, who is looking at him with concern now- and what kind of friend is he, wanting to say something like this that could change (and  _ruin_ ) the friendship that they have?

_I’m horrible._

“What?” Haru asks now, blue-eyed gaze narrowed down on him in a way that lets him know that Haru is scrutinizing his every move.

“There’s,” he stammers timidly, hand squeezing tightly around the sling of his bag as he shifts on his feet in the snow-covered pavement. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to say.”  _It’s been there since we started growing up, since you started looking at Rin, and I could only watch you. It’s been inside my head and inside my chest for a long time, and it_ hurts _, but I never want to say it if it means that you’ll hate me._

Haru hums under his breath, head tilting subtly enough that any other person- any person who isn’t  _Makoto_ \- wouldn’t notice it. He straightens up again, his gaze on Makoto unwavering, before he nods.  _Go on._

“I, that is,” Makoto stutters, shifting his hand further until he’s squeezing at his elbow, which Haru seems to zoom in on as soon as it happens, “I…”

“…aa.”

He blinks, head snapping up when he hears the tiny utterance from Haru’s mouth. All too suddenly, he feels his cheeks heat up; it’s not the first time he’s been on the receiving end of one of Haru’s intense gazes, but something about this stare feels different. It’s  _strange_ , a little less of a glare and more of a meaningful stare, and it makes him feel nervous not  _knowing_  just what it means.

“Haru?” he asks, the name coming out as a squeak when Haru steps closer. He backs away on instinct, before coming to a halt with a nervous ‘eep!’ when Haru glares at him.

“I know,” Haru says, voice soft in the winter air, breath coming out in puffs of white. Haru looks beautiful even here, even without the water around him, and it hurts; it hurts to think that he could lose this by saying the wrong thing.

But wait.

“ _I know._ ”

He blinks, turning his gaze up to Haru in confusion.

“You…know?” he asks hesitantly, head cocking to the side in question. _Know what? I didn’t even say anything for you to know what it is yet._

Haru shoots an irritated glare his way. The irritated narrowing of blue eyes, the unintentional pout, flushed cheeks and pink nose somehow make him feel better, like the weight on his chest is nothing more than a feather instead of lead-heavy feelings.

He smiles, laughing a bit when he says, “Really, Haru. You know what? I wasn’t exactly-”

“I love you,” Haru murmurs, softly enough that he thinks he’s imagining it.

Dumbly, he makes a sound of confusion at Haru’s words. “Huh?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Haru snaps, looking increasingly irritated when he turns his head away with a huff.

_“I love you.”_

“That’s,” he trails off, utterly lost as he stares at Haru’s slowly reddening face. He couldn’t have heard it right, could he?  _I love you._ Haru saying  _I love you_ , to  _him_  of all people _._ In the back of his mind, he thinks _, I was only going to say that I like you because I didn’t want to make it a heavy burden for you, but I love you sounds so, so much better,_  before he snaps out of it with startled blink of green eyes.

“Idiot,” Haru grumbles, dropping the annoyed glare to stare wearily at Makoto’s confused expression. “This isn’t the first time, is it?”

“Eh?”

“That someone’s confessed to you,” Haru says, eyeing him with a raised brow.

 _Haru confessed_ , his mind supplies helpfully, though it doesn’t process very quickly in his head.

“I,” he swallows the words threatening to spill like floodwater through a broken dam, clenches his hand into a green sleeve as he breathes. “No,” he says in a small voice, before looking up to Haru with a quaky smile. He says, mouth dry and voice croaky, “But it’s the first time for me to reciprocate someone’s feelings,” because there’s really nothing else he can think to say, nothing else he can ask, in the face of Haru’s expectant gaze.

Haru rolls his eyes, but smiles.

The tears are cold on his cheek when he starts to cry, the liquid warm in the corners of his eyes before falling like wind-cooled raindrops down his face. His breathing comes out in hiccups when Haru hugs him close and his arms are shaking, his hands trembling both with the cold and with  _this_  when he shifts to wrap them around Haru’s shoulders. It’s the first time they’ve been this close in a long while, and he squeezes Haru closer with a tightness that says,  _I’ll never let you go._

Haru huffs out a laugh, before hiding his face in Makoto’s shoulder with a brief nuzzle of his nose on the fur of his parka.

_I know._


End file.
